Warren Gatland exclusive: My baby daughter died at four months old – that’s what drives me

Warren Gatland is in engaging form. Over the course of the next two hours, he talks passionately about a range of issues from his decision to return as Wales head coach to his goal of bringing a sense of joy back to Test rugby.

Yet the most insightful and revealing moment seems to take us both by surprise.

Gatland is reflecting on his vision for his second term with Wales and the core values of his coaching philosophy when his mind suddenly takes him to a very different place: the day almost 31 years ago when his world was turned upside down by a tragedy that he reveals would define his career.

The day in question was January 17, 1992 – a day that was meant to be filled with unbridled joy.

At the time Gatland was just 28, but his fledgling coaching career had already begun as player/coach with Irish club side Galwegians and his wife Trudi, who was expecting their first child, had been admitted to the University Hospital in Galway to give birth.

“I still remember it was a misty old morning when we drove to the hospital the previous day,” he recalls. “The pregnancy had gone smoothly; we had some scans but obviously they weren’t as detailed as they are now. We were so excited. I was really looking forward to fatherhood.

“When our daughter Shauna arrived, she was a good weight, around seven-and-a-half pounds, and all seemed well. But minutes later I remember looking across to see that one of the nurses was crying and suddenly specialists were rushing in. I didn’t understand what was happening.”

'We were beyond grief'

The reason for the nurse’s tears was that baby Shauna had been born with spina bifida, which is when a baby's spinal cord does not develop properly in the womb, causing a gap in the spine. A scan later confirmed her condition was so severe that, after consulting with the hospital’s professor of paediatrics, the couple made the gut-wrenching decision not to proceed with surgical intervention. “We were beyond grief,” Gatland recalls.

What happened next would leave an indelible mark not just on his life but also his career, an emotional legacy that would underpin his coaching mindset – an impact he only recently became aware of as he contemplated his return to international coaching.

“I have never shared this story with anyone before,” he adds. “I have spoken on a number of occasions about Shauna, but it is only recently that I have come to realise the impact of what happened in the days after her birth had on my life and me as a coach.”

Galwegians had made a major financial investment in bringing him over from New Zealand in 1989 as part of their bid to win promotion to the All Ireland League, the Irish club competition which had just been established the following year.

“We had lost in the last minute the year before to a drop-goal to get promoted but when Shauna was born the club told me that I should go back home to New Zealand despite the fact as Connacht champions we had a promotion play-offs coming up involving games against the other three provincial league winners,” he adds.

“I said that the game was huge and that they had invested a lot of money in me but the message from the club was ‘your family is more important’ and that I should take them back to Hamilton.

“After a while I phoned the club to thank them for allowing me to bring Trudi and Shauna back home where we had the support of our extended family. I told them that things were settled here and asked if they wanted me to come back to play in the play-offs. The club said ‘would you do that?’ and I said yes because I wanted to pay them back for their sympathy and understanding.

“In my moment of need, the club showed what they were prepared to do for me, not worrying about promotion or money. It was about values and the importance of family. They could have asked me to stay to play in the play-offs but there was no question to them what was more important. So when I got back home, I realised I wanted to come back and give something back to them to say thank you for what they had done.

“So I flew back to Ireland and we drew the first game and then won the second game which secured our promotion and then flew back to New Zealand because the third game was meaningless.”

'Shauna was so special'

Gatland has never forgotten the compassion the club showed in allowing him to spend precious moments together as his wider family came together back in Hamilton and says they treasured four months together full of love and tenderness with Shauna before she died on May 13.

“The family were brilliant, especially Trudi’s Mum and Dad,” he recalls. “We were told that there was a good chance with the size of the lesion on Shauna’s back that if she got an infection it would go to her brain and probably kill her – but Trudi was just amazing and before she passed away it had healed over.

“Shauna was so special and if it hadn’t been for her we probably wouldn't have had our second daughter, Gabby, who arrived 16 months later, as early as we did and then our son Bryn as well. They are a result of her in an ironic way.

“When she passed away I asked for special permission to have her coffin laid to rest on top of the coffin of my late grandmother, who is buried in the Newstead Cemetery in Hamilton.  

“I had been particularly close to her and in the eulogy to Shauna, we said she was safe in the arms of her great grandmother. Shauna would be 30 now, I still think of her often.”

Gatland recognises now it was the compassion shown by the Galwegians club during that challenging time that became the “driving force” behind his glittering coaching career and explains why he has always placed a focus on the importance of family in the squads that he has coached since.

“I have always had some core values such as work ethic and what it means to put the jersey on. But family is really important too. If you get things right off the pitch with partners and families at home then you always get more from a player. I don’t think people realise the impact it can have on a team when you get the environment right. We are all lucky to be involved in professional sport but it is important not to forget what the most important thing is, and the most important thing is your family.”

It was missing that sense of family that he had created during his previous 12-year tenure with Wales, which included four Six Nations titles, three Grand Slams and twice reaching the semi-final of the World Cup, that was one of the decisive factors in his decision to come back to Cardiff, despite having interest from other international teams as well as a club in Japan.

Gatland is hopeful that bringing together all the stakeholders in Welsh rugby for a summit to thrash out a way forward can save the regional game if everyone can set aside personal interests for the common good of the game. He acknowledges, too, a responsibility to bring a smile back to the nation in these tough economic times.

Few Welsh supporters were smiling after a gloomy autumn on the pitch that led to the sacking of Wayne Pivac. But as he holds dear the special memories of Shauna, Gatland believes that with a sense of family togetherness, anything is possible.