Dear Richard Madeley: ‘My wife wants a new boiler instead of a fancy holiday’

Dear Richard,

We’ve had a pretty rough year – I was bereaved and my wife lost her job. Money has been a worry. In November we had some good news, financially at least: we’re about to get quite a generous legacy from a cousin.

We’re going to put most of it in my pension fund, but for tax reasons we ought to keep a sum of around £5,000 back, this financial year at least. There are things around the house that need doing – a new boiler, for example – but I’m all for going on a long, luxurious holiday somewhere sunny.

My wife is worried that this is irresponsible – she is strong-minded and when she has made her mind up not to enjoy something there is little chance of swaying her. I can play the sympathy card and more or less insist we go away, but there’s no point if she is just going to feel anxious the whole time.

Is there any way I can get her to embrace this? Or should I surrender, buy the boiler and watch travel programmes on TV?

— Pete, Beds

Dear Pete,

Surrender. You can lead a horse to the sea, but you can’t make it frolic in the surf. If you pressurise your wife to go on this holiday against her will, she’ll be unhappy and tense.

Every restaurant bill you pay; every cocktail you neck; every souvenir you buy, will make her wince and do urgent sums in her head. And if she’s miserable, you will be too. You’ll both have a rotten time and, yes, in that sense it will be a complete waste of money.

Anyway, I sort of agree with her. Not because I’m a penny-pinching, pleasure-denying misanthrope, but because we are living in extremely difficult times and there’s no guarantee 2023 won’t be even worse.

You’ve been incredibly fortunate to have been thrown a financial lifeline. Many would give their eye teeth for such a windfall. It’s an unasked-for, unexpected security blanket. Be grateful and wrap yourself in it – you can always kick it off when the good times roll again!

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